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    October 12

    远去的闲情

    刚接手这个位子的时候,有新鲜,有劳累,加班那加班那,累,却似乎在期盼什么.似乎是指望了一个不错以后,似乎是离开那散淡的节奏.加班回来,练练口琴,短信,交谈,压力大,却觉得安心,安定.不指望一展拳脚,起码是努力工作.
     
    一转眼,回望过去,原来那段日子还是开心的,舒坦的,带着点小小的情绪挣扎着,努力着向上.
     
    一下子,多了那么多变数,多了那么多改变,房子也好,人事也好,总让人担忧,总让人叹气.不知道是做错了什么,再也没了那种安定的思绪,那种坚定的努力.就像在独木舟上,不知道下一刻会在哪儿,下一刻还有什么.
     
    也许是新鲜感过去了,也许是改变的太突然以致还没收拾好心虚去接受.以前只觉得是看不到头的路,但起码能跟着走.现在发现置身荒漠,东南西北,茫茫然.
     
    我有个完美主义的小毛病,就是搞不出一个完美的计划,就会盲目的下乱转.计划毕竟是计划,我得适应变化.没有什么周全吧?
     
    想起来依然离开了那种小闲情,傍晚的落日,叮叮当当的厨房,锃亮的口琴,再也不能排解我心中的不安和郁闷了.

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